Authenticity

11 tips for cultivating balls and soul

Authenticity stands for uniqueness, being real, and originality. Someone who is authentic stands up for what they believe in and does what they say. Authenticity presupposes awareness, self-knowledge, knowing who you are and what you want, being true to yourself by following your intuition. Authentic people are loyal to their own values, truths, ideals, goals, and conscience. They detach these from prevailing opinions in their environment. Authentic people inspire others through their mission and passion. They do everything with attention and love, listening to the voice of their heart because they believe in themselves.

Introduction

Authenticity is the gift of being yourself without making too much fuss about it or feeling the need to apologize for who you are or what you stand for. Genuine authenticity is natural, never forced, and completely real. I always find it incredibly beautiful to see when I come across it.

Authentic individuals have something special. They are people who are willing to go against the grain, but not to be contrary or rebellious. It is precisely those people who, from a place of calm and deep conviction, know what they stand for and why they stand for it. As if what they do comes from a deeply rooted and firmly grounded place. They often come across so naturally and effortlessly that they transcend the ordinary with exactly that.

This article is about the attraction, usefulness, and special gifts of authenticity. With tips and tricks that have helped me and my clients, and perhaps will also give you a nudge towards your authentic self.

Authenticity, identity, and self-confidence

People have an incredibly sharp perceptual ability to assess other individuals and interpret their behavior. This has deep evolutionary reasons. It is vital to be able to predict what the other person is going to do because ultimately you will have to determine whether this person is either a threat (do they decrease my chances of survival?) or a potential partner to collaborate with (do they increase my chances of survival?). We perceive much more in this regard than we are consciously aware of. The processing of all these conscious and unconscious signals manifests itself, among other things, in a (gut) feeling. It is essentially that feeling that tells you what you think of that person and whether you can trust them or not. It is the translation of all the signals you pick up. The feeling this generates cannot be created or ignored at will; it is largely automatic and subconscious.

It seems that on this (unconscious) level, you can also feel when other people are at odds with themselves. Sometimes it is quite obvious, as with teenagers. They are searching for their identity and thereby obstructing themselves and the rest of the world tremendously. Among other things, by forcefully taking up space, being quickly annoyed or irritated, defending their newly formed opinion tooth and nail as if it were the end of the world, quite exhausting. These are all the ingredients of someone who has not yet found themselves and therefore is unsure about who they are. And that's perfectly fine (and even healthy) for someone in puberty.

But with an adult, this process is much more complex and manifests itself in a often more subtle (but no less destructive) manner. When an adult has not yet found their identity (and thus the ability to be authentic), you can recognize that, for example, because they often engage in extremes. For example: shouting themselves hoarse to be heard or being completely withdrawn, being quickly and often angry or never being able to get angry, constantly feeling personally attacked or just taking everything, always having to make their point or never daring to give their opinion, always having to be right or always giving in, giving little space to others or completely letting themselves be walked all over, having to be in the spotlight or panically hiding themselves. There is often a certain restlessness emanating from them because they (their ego) feel so vulnerable and insecure that they are constantly on edge and feel the need to defend themselves (by fighting or fleeing) against external attacks.

On the other hand, when someone has found their own identity, there can be room for the authentic self. This often creates a certain kind of calmness, a sense of security, self-confidence, all from the core of that person, anchored in identity. The ego no longer has to constantly defend itself tooth and nail, and that can be a huge relief, both for the person themselves and for the environment.

It's difficult to describe what authenticity does to people when they experience it in another person. Authentic people seem to generate calmness among their surroundings. It can be reassuring to be with someone who has nothing to prove, who doesn't have to frantically showcase themselves from an image or from the fear of being portrayed differently than they think or believe their identity should be. It gives a feeling of safety and trust because you quickly know what you have with that person, whether you can trust that person. Whether or not you have the same goal. Or if there might be a chance for a win-win situation.

Authenticity in you

Maybe you've already wondered if you're authentic. Or maybe you're looking for ways to be even more yourself. In both cases, it can help to consider how you present yourself to the world and whether this corresponds to who you really are. Here are 11 tips to help you get started:

1. Be honest with yourself. This is the basis of authenticity. Dare to be honest about your feelings, desires, fears, and dreams. Without honesty to yourself, you can never truly be authentic.

2. Know yourself. Take the time to get to know yourself. What are your values, beliefs, and goals in life? What makes you unique? By understanding yourself better, you can become more authentic.

3. Listen to your intuition. Trust your inner voice and let it guide you in making choices. Your intuition often knows what's best for you, even if your mind says something else.

4. Be true to yourself. Remain true to your own values and principles, even if it means going against the grain. Don't be influenced by the opinions or expectations of others.

5. Show your vulnerability. Dare to be open and vulnerable, even if it's scary. Vulnerability is a sign of strength and authenticity, and can lead to deeper connections with others.

6. Be courageous. Step out of your comfort zone and take risks. Being authentic sometimes means doing things that are scary or challenging but contribute to your personal growth.

7. Be empathetic. Show understanding and compassion for others, even if you disagree with them. Empathy helps you to put yourself in other people's shoes and connect on a deeper level.

8. Take responsibility for your life. Stop pointing fingers and take control of your own life. You are responsible for your own happiness and success, so take action and make conscious choices.

9. Learn from your mistakes. Making mistakes is human and offers valuable learning opportunities. Be open to feedback, reflect on your experiences, and use them to grow as a person.

10. Be grateful. Appreciate what you have and be grateful for the people and experiences in your life. Gratitude helps you to live in the moment and enjoy the little things.

11. Stay authentic, even when it's difficult. Being authentic is not always easy, but it's worth it. Stay true to yourself, even when faced with challenges or resistance from others.

By applying these tips, you can gradually bring more authenticity into your life. Be patient and kind to yourself, and remember that being authentic is a process that requires time and practice. But ultimately, it will lead to a deeper sense of fulfillment, connection, and happiness.